UniqueFlowers

The truth is I posted something on twitter so gauge a response. From the likes it received I suppose people that it was part of a poem or some song lyrics, but the truth is it’s what I mean. I wish to fall asleep while being sung to and never waking up again. The truth is I’m great at faking a smile so the rest of world doesn’t see that my eyes don’t dilate anymore because I’m too close to overdosing that it’s almost too much to make myself do it. The truth is people don’t notice that I have lost weight to rapidly because I’m not eating, I’m not even trying to live anymore. I’m trying to end it all. I’m trying to passively move along so I don’t have to burden anyone else with my problems or my feelings. The truth is I have lost so many people who said they would never leave but now they are no where in sight when I need them the most. The truth is I don’t know which came first the insomnia or the depression or the starvation. At this point I’m sure they are all trying to kill me. The world is too busy looking at my “smile” to see the brokenness of my soul. The people around me are busy seeing the girl who is “brave” to see the girl who can barely make it out of bed. Everyone is busy seeing my facade to see what’s really happening. The next question may be why don’t you show them the real you? And the answer to that is if I did I would have no one. Not a single soul could tread in the darkness that I have become just waiting for the end. That’s all I’m doing is waiting for the end. It’s closer than it seems and I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid of death I’m not afraid of the end. I have become so numb to everything around me that nothing you or anyone else has to say now can stop what’s already in play. So I guess the truth is I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person I pretended to be. I couldn’t be strong enough for anything more than loving you. I’m just sorry.